I am Michelle D. Carter

So often I feel that I don’t give my daughter enough time. Ever since the boys were born, she’s been pushed aside and the boys have taken priority. Obviously, newborns are going to need more attention. However, the boys are now older but the cycle continues and I want to stop it. She’s still young and is about to embark on the t’ween years. Girls, in general, are mean. And things are a lot different than when I was growing up. I think the girls are MEANER. I am going to need to spend more time with her to help her cope through these difficult years. I need to help raise her self esteem so when the MEAN GIRLS make comments and do things, she can handle herself with respect and pride.

As I was lying in bed the other night, thinking about her, I decided to write her a note. It said: Alyssa, You are very wonderful and special girl. I am proud of you. I love you!! Mom.

The other morning I woke to the note below lying on my nightstand. Looks like we are off to a good start! I love you, Alyssa!!

Wow! Where has this week gone? Sorry for my absence but I was feeling a bit under the weather. Monday and Tuesday, after I dropped off the kids at school, I came home and went back to bed. Tim was sweet enough to offer to help make the bed on Tuesday. I told him, “Nope, not necessary.” I think he was secretly jealous that I had the opportunity to rest.

Last night I was watching TV when I heard crying upstairs. I paused the TV to make sure I wasn’t hearing things. Sure enough, crying. All the emotions and anxiety of middle of the night feedings came rushing back. I think my boobs even ached as they filled with milk. WAIT A MINUTE! I haven’t had to get up in the middle of the night for feedings for almost six years and the well has long dried up.

I run up to find Alex rolling around crying. Andy’s sitting up trying to figure out what is going on as well.

Me: “Alex, what’s wrong?”

Alex: “WAAAAAAAAA!”

Me: “Sweetie, what’s wrong?”

Alex: “WAAAAA!”

Me: “ALEX! I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.”

He quiets down and mumbles something that is inaudible. Andy lies back down and is passed out as soon as his head hits the pillow.

I carry my boy who weighs considerably more than he did six years ago into the spare room to rock him. He instantaneously falls back asleep. I rock him for a few more minutes, totally taking advantage of holding him in my arms. I love snuggling with my kids and know that before I know it, they’ll be off on their own.

I carry him back to bed and he wakes up.

Me: “Alex, are you OK?”

Alex: “Yeah.”

Me: “Do you remember waking up crying?”

He mumbles, rubs his eyes and extends his arms for a hug. Oh how I love that!

Me: “Do you want me to stay with you until you go back to sleep?”

Alex: “Mom, I’ll be faking it.”

I giggle and give him a hug and kiss. See you in the morning, little man.

Alyssa is now next to me asking: “Why was Alex crying?”

Me: “I don’t know and I’m sure he doesn’t either.”

This morning when I wake them up, I ask Alex if he remembers the waking up last night.

Alex: “No.”

He crawls in my lap and begins to cry.

Me: “Why are you crying now?”

Alex: “I want you.”

Doesn’t that just warm your heart? So sweet! Daddy came up and turned those tears into giggles. But not before I got lots of hugs. LOVE IT!! A Mom can never get enough love from her children. As they grow and the frequency lessens, I take it anyway I can get it!

A couple of weeks ago, we decided to move a tree in the backyard. We wanted to move it to the other side of the yard because its current location is exactly where we wanted to put our swing set. The boys were very eager to help.

This project (as with MOST of our projects) was a lot more work than we expected. In Lee’s Summit, the soil was clay. It tended to be heavier than regular top soil. The soil in Simpsonville is red clay. Been there, done that, totally expected it to be heavy. However, it was like trying to cut rock. SERIOUSLY! A shovel is NOT the best tool to cut rock. We finally broke through the rock and the soil underneath that was a little softer. As we dug the hole, we let the boys remove the dirt and put it in the wheel barrow.  

As sweat poured down their little faces, they never once complained. Tim and I came in the house at one point to cool off and get some water for the boys. They stayed outside working. I asked Alyssa if she wanted to come out and take some pictures of the boys. She happily obliged and even created a video.

And so the documentary of child labor was created.

The boys have wanted to be Boy Scouts ever since Alyssa started Girl Scouts when she was in Kindergarten. I’m not sure if it was because she got to go some place without them or if it was because of the cookies they got to eat when it was cookie time. I am excited that Alyssa has wanted to continue to do Girl Scouts year after year because they teach some valuable lessons that aren’t taught in school. They also help reinforce the values we try to instill in her. I’m proud of the person she is becoming because of those lessons.

When the boys were getting ready to start Kindergarten, we had forgotten about Boy Scouts. However, when we saw the Boy Scout table at Back to School night, I knew we’d be stopping there to sign them up. I was bewildered when I was told that boys can’t be in scouts until first grade. Girls can start in Kindergarten but boys have to wait until first grade. Hmm, I know they are separate institutions but really, what the …?!! Although visibly shaken from the devastating news, the boys pulled themselves together and raced out the door with some of their friends.

When we attended Back to School night this year, we managed to find our way through our new school to the classrooms. We meandered through the halls. THERE IT WAS! RIGHT THERE! The Boy Scout table. THIS is the year! I gave the Cub Master (seriously, that IS his title) our information and let him know that we are very excited to be part of the Boy Scouts. After a few calls back and forth, we had our schedule.

Since I was always in charge of Girl Scouts, it seemed fitting that Tim would be designated as such for the Boy Scouts. He began to take the boys to their WEEKLY meetings. Girl Scouts were only twice a month. I definitely got the better end of this deal.

After a couple weeks, Andy decides he doesn’t like it anymore.

Andy: “Mom, I don’t want to go to church.” The meetings are held at a local church.

Me: “What? Do you mean Boys Scouts?”  

Andy: “Yeah.”

Me: “Why?”

Andy: “I just don’t want to do it anymore.”

Me: “Well, we will have to talk to Daddy about that.”

And then… the uniforms arrive in the mail. The excitement! TIME FOR A FASHION SHOW! The boys rip off their clothes to put their new found treasures on. Awe, sweet!!

Andy: “But Mom, I don’t want to go to church anymore.”

Me: “We still need to talk to Dad about that but if you decide you don’t want to do this then the uniform goes back.”

Andy: “Why?”

Me: “Sweetie, if you don’t want to be in Boys Scouts, then the uniform needs to go back.”

Alex: “BUT I still want to do it.”

Me: “That’s fine, we’ll keep yours BUT Andy’s will go back.”

Andy: “But I want the uniform.”

Me: “Sorry, you don’t get to keep it for fun.”

Andy: “Well, I still want to do it.”

Me (laughing): “Are you sure? If we keep this, you will HAVE to go.”

Andy: “Yeah, I’m sure.”

I think he realized just how handsome he looked in his uniform. Yep, he’s going to use it to pick up chicks. Don’t they look cute with their FORCED SMILE and ARE YOU DONE YET looks?!

Yesterday marked a milestone in the Carter household. It was our twelfth wedding anniversary.

There were no big celebrations, just an ordinary day. Tim was working on a few projects around the house, which, of course, meant a couple trips to the hardware store. Upon his return from his first trip with Alyssa, she brought in a dozen roses.

She said, “These are from Daddy. He said there is one rose for each year you’ve been married.”

Awe, that was sweet!! And the roses were very pretty!

Just because there wasn’t big showers of gaga over one another doesn’t mean the spark is dying. The spark is very much alive. Tim and I show our love and affection EVERY DAY. And yes, there have definitely been some difficult times in our lives, in our marriage, but we always work through them.

So, thank you, Tim, for being the love of my live 365 days a year instead of just one.

I don’t drink that much REALLY I DON’T. NO, SERIOUSLY, I DON’T. But I’m always in the market for a good drink. Something that doesn’t taste like, you know alcohol.

A few days ago, Oprah had her favorite recipes on her show. She shared her favorite alcohol drink THE ELECTRIC LEMONADE. It sounded good so I decided to give it a try.

Here’s the recipe:

• 2 cups water
• 2 cups sugar
• 1 cup fresh lemon juice
• 1 large sprig mint, finely chopped plus spring for garnish
• 8 ounces lemon-flavored vodka
• Splash of sparkling water
• 1 tablespoon freshly grated lemon zest for garnish

Mix the sugar and water in a small pot and boil for three minutes to make a simply syrup. Let cool.

In a medium bowl, stir together one cup syrup (leftover syrup can be refrigerated indefinitely), the lemon juice and chopped mint. Pour mixture into ice-cube tray and freeze for one hour.

In blender, blend together frozen cubes, sparkling water, chopped mint and vodka.

Pour into chilled glasses. Garnish with mint sprigs and lemon zest.

I am not a big fan of mint so I omitted. They also strongly recommended using fresh lemon juice. I was so tempted at the store to buy the fake juice from concentrate but I kept hearing IT’S SO MUCH BETTER WITH REAL JUICE.

I don’t have a juicer so I rolled the lemons on a hard surface to “loosen” the juice, cut it in half and squeezed it into a cup. I didn’t worry about too much pulp or seeds getting in it because I then poured it through a strainer. This worked well.

It is by far one of the best drinks I’ve made. YUM, YUM, YUM, YUMMY!!

Don’t forget this is Oprah’s favorite alcoholic drinks. This is all Oprah, Oprah, Oprah. Did I mention this is Oprah? She rocks! Do you think she’ll end her show after this season?

I hope you enjoy this!

As always, within the first couple of days of school, the kids came home with their first FUNd raiser. By the way, the play on FUN in FUNd raiser is how it came home from school. Pedaling door to door or hitting up relatives is certainly NOT my idea of FUN.

This particular fund raiser appeared to be very similar to those we’ve done in the past. It is a fund raiser that is district wide so forget about pedaling door to door because your neighbor’s are selling the same crap stuff. Each school has an assembly to kick it off and to get the kids REALLY EXCITED about all the things they can earn if they just sell 5,000 items. Seriously, how do they expect you to sell this when everyone and their dog is selling the EXACT SAME stuff?!!

My kids came running off the bus, “Mom, Mom, I want a sticky feet!”

A sticky what? I envisioned one of those sticky slimy rubbery things that stick to your walls and slowly slinks its way down leaving a trail of slime that no matter how many times you scrub, it JUST WON’T come off. I don’t think so!

I look through the list of prizes they can earn and there is no sign of the sticky feet. Hmm, I wonder what they are talking about. They must have been mistaken.

The next day after school, more rumblings about sticky feet. “Mom, so-and-so got their sticky feet today.” The fund raiser isn’t over yet, how can these kids be getting prizes? And where is it on the list of prizes? Oh well, I don’t want the kids to have them anyway so I coax them into going outside to play.

A few days later and the hype over the sticky feet subsides. Thank God! They get the kids so excited with pep rallies that it’s up to the parents to either pan-handle to their co-workers, which if they have kids are most likely selling the exact same stuff, or crush their spirit because we aren’t going to try to sell to everyone under the sun. Believe me, this is a very fine line.

Alex is a smart kid. He is very excited about this and asks Tim to take it to sell at work. Tim hates selling this stuff more than I do. Daddy tells Alex, “Put it on my nightstand and I’ll take it to work.” Tim thought that would be enough to suffice Alex. I knew better! This kid has a memory like an elephant. And so the hounding began…

The next day, we woke up a little late and frantically got ready. In the chaos, Alex remembers the packet. He runs into our room and sees it still sitting on the nightstand takes it to Tim and tells him NOT TO FORGET IT.

For the next several days after work, Alex would ask Tim, “Did you sell anything, Dad?” Each day, the answer was NO. Tim would try to soften the blow by coming up with some excuse. He was walking that fine line.

I finally sat down and went through the other kids’ entire packet. It seems that I completely missed the one of seventeen random pieces of paper stating that if I turn in seven out of town addresses for magazine sales, this would get the kids the sticky feet. Luckily, no one was asking about it anymore. Dodged that bullet!

You have to sell two items to get a prize so, I decided to purchase two rolls of wrapping paper from each of my kids. This way, everyone got the SAME PRIZE.

Tim had left Alex’s at work and then took a couple of days off to work around the house. Alex noticed I was filling out the paperwork for the other two and wanted to know where his was. I tried not to make a big deal about it. Everyone was outside playing. I was hiding in my office, where I am most of the time so it’s really not that big of a deal.

Alex: “Whatcha doin’?”

Me, I’m not going to lie to him (this time): “Ordering stuff.”

Alex: “Did you do mine?”

Me: “No. Daddy still has yours at work.”

Alex: “Where’s Dad?”

Here it comes again… and for the next few days… the same conversation… again… and again…

Alex: “When are you going to bring my stuff home?”

Tim: “When I go back to work.”

Alex: “Did you go to work today?”

Tim: “No.”

Alex: “When are you going back to work?”

Tim: “In a couple more days.”

I kept reassuring him that Daddy would bring it back in time for him to take it to school.

The day Tim went back to work, I emailed him a friendly reminder to remember to bring it home. I didn’t want to hear the sad crying that would happen if he forgot let alone hear how it was my fault because, MOM, YOU SAID DAD WOULD BRING IT HOME. It was a good thing that I did because he had forgotten.

Sure enough, Alex got home from school and the first thing he asks his Dad: “Did you bring my stuff home?”

Tim: “YES, and Mommy’s already got it filled out for you. It’s already to go back.”

Alex: “YAAAA!”

I did find this ordeal comical. I knew Alex would be all over this until it came to fruition. It was nice that it wasn’t ME he was harassing.

August 19, 2009 was a day of many firsts.

It was the first day of school at our new school. Don’t they look so cute? It is Alyssa’s first day of fourth grade and the boys’ first day of first grade.

It was also the first time they were able to choose what they wanted to wear on the first day of school. At our old school, we had our “first day of school” t-shirts to wear. Each student was required encouraged to purchase a first day of school t-shirt. This t-shirt was also your field trip shirt. I must admit they did keep the costs of the shirts to a minimum. The last couple of years, the school sponsored a fund raiser that would allow all students to get their t-shirts for free.

As they arrived home from their first day of their new school in their first day outfits, they all had paperwork for me to fill out. It was the first time I had to fill out so much paperwork. In addition to filling out the standard contact information for EACH child, I also was required to fill out information regarding any “concerns” I had about them in school. And while I stared at that mountain of paperwork and thought to myself ISN’T THAT YOUR JOB TO FIGURE OUT WHICH SUBJECTS MY KIDS ARE GOOD AT AND WHICH ONES THEY NEED IMPROVEMENT THAT WOULD BE THE REASON YOU GIVE THEM A GRADE. But, I believe it is a partnership with the teachers. I grab the stack determined to finish before carpel tunnel got the best of me.

As I progressed through the form, I got to the question of discipline. Please list what works best and least with your child. I was so tempted to write that the best form of discipline was TO TIE THEM UP AND LOCK THEM IN A DARK CLOSET. Yep, do that a couple times and the kids would do whatever you asked as long as they didn’t have to go back into the closet. For once I didn’t let temptation get the best of me. I played it out in my head that the Department of Family Services would make sure that I never saw my kids again if I wrote that. Instead, I wrote what I’m sure most every other intelligent parent wrote ENCOURAGEMENT TO DO THEIR BEST is the best form of discipline. What else did they expect us to write?!

Here it is the end of the week and the conclusion of our vacation pictures. You are probably tired of looking at all of them and are thinking WHAT IN THE HELL WAS SHE COMPLAINING ABOUT, LOOK AT ALL THE FUN THINGS THEY DID!!

Yes, we had the opportunity to see a lot of cool things. I am amazed at how close we are to all these wonderful places. There are still other places for us to explore that we haven’t been to yet. It certainly is a nice place to relocate!

The Biltmore was a destination I had wanted to explore for quite some time. I finally convinced Tim to make the trip AND the financial plunge. It was certainly our most expensive venture. Thank goodness the kids got in free!

A brief history about the Biltmore (taken directly from their website): Building Biltmore was, at the time (opened in 1895), one of the largest undertakings in the history of American residential architecture and the results were astounding. Over a six-year period, an entire community of craftsmen worked to build the country’s premier home. The estate boasted its own brick factory, woodworking shop, and a three-mile railway spur for transporting materials to the site. The celebrated architect Richard Morris Hunt modeled the house on three châteaux built in 16th-century France. It would feature 4 acres of floor space, 250 rooms, 34 bedrooms, 43 bathrooms, and 65 fireplaces. The basement alone would house a swimming pool, gymnasium and changing rooms, bowling alley, servants’ quarters, kitchens, and more. The grounds of the 125,000-acre estate were designed by Frederick Law Olmsted, the creator of New York’s Central Park and the father of American landscape architecture. He not only developed acres of gardens and parkland, but in his efforts to protect the environment and reclaim over-farmed land, Olmsted established America’s first managed forest.

Impressive right? Well, I guess, that would be a matter of opinion. I’m not sure what I expected but… Everything was kept authentic. Good for the historians. However, the huge damask prints, although a sign of the times, I thought were hideous. I kept telling Tim that this was our inspiration for drapes for our new home. He was not amused. They also had not upgraded to central air. Lots of fans were placed along the tour in an attempt to cool you. The heat sucked the patience out of us while the kids complained about how hot and bored they were. And don’t forget all the WALKING we were doing. The kids would complain MY LEGS ARE TIRED! C’mon, you guys will go outside and play all day, what’s the difference?

Apparently even the rich get bored. Back in the day when the Vanderbilts tired of all the amenities the Biltmore offered they didn’t know what they wanted to do. So they decided to start a winery. They grow and harvest the grapes on the property. I skipped the tour and went directly to the tasting room. For some reason after my fifteenth sample they asked me to leave.

All in all it was amazing to see the visions these men had back then and it still remains a major attraction today.

Triple Falls and Hooker Falls are located in DuPont State Forest near Forest City, North Carolina. I believe one of Tim’s co-workers had told him about the falls and after some research, Tim was ready to check it out.

I wasn’t so sure. In Tim’s research, it was highly recommended that you don’t climb on the rocks. There is typically one death per year at Triple Falls. GREAT! We are taking our wild kids who have been cooped up in a hotel room to a place for them to get rid of energy where death is prevalent. Probably not the best combination.

After the long winding drive through the mountains we arrived ready to stretch our legs and see the sites. WOW! The water rushing over the granite rocks was phenomenal!!

Signs were strategically placed WARNING people to STAY OFF THE ROCKS! Yet, look at all the people climbing all over the rocks. People are SWIMMING too! Some had floatation devices and were making a day out of it.

We finally succumbed to the pressure of the crowd and decided to let the kids take their shoes off and wade in the pool of standing water. BE CAREFUL! The green stuff on the rocks is really slippery. It didn’t take long and Andy slipped and fell. The water was cold and he was freezing. A few minutes sitting on the rock and he was warmed up.

Alyssa then decides she’s going to head over to the stream where the water is brisk.

Tim and I both yell: “I DON’T THINK SO, GET BACK HERE!! Hello, didn’t your brother just fall?”

Alyssa: “Yeah.”

Me: “Do you see the little rapids over there where you were headed?”

Alyssa: “Yeah.”

Me: “If you were to slip over there girlfriend, you’d be gone, down to the bottom of the falls. Don’t you think you should stay over here?”

Alyssa: “Yeah.”

Me: “Right answer.”

That was as close as we came to death. It was a great day!!