Me: “I’m going to tell you something you don’t know.” Dramatic pause. “I love you!”

Alyssa, Alex or Andy (any one or all): “I knew that!”

Me: “No you didn’t!”

Their response: “Yes I did!”

Me: “How did you know?”

Them: “Because you tell us every day.”

Their responses usually carry the tone of frustration. It’s like SERIOUSLY MOM, YOU DO THIS ALL THE TIME. I’M NOT STUPID. I KNOW THIS! That’s OK with me. It’s “our” thing. It’s how we roll. We have fun and there isn’t a doubt in my kids’ minds as to whether I love them or not.

We recently watched Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs. There is a scene in the movie where Mr. T wants his son to know that he loves him. The son’s response, “Dad, you tell me every day.” Tim & I immediately looked at each another. I’m not the only one.

Alex has tried to put his own twist on it as well.

Me: “I love you.”

Alex: “I love you more.”

The other two have picked up on it as well. We each go back and forth NO, I LOVE YOU MORE.

It’s our thing. It’s how we roll. We enjoy it. That’s what matters.

I LOVE YOU… MORE!!!

Here she is opening the card that her brother, Alex, made her. On the outside is a big heart he had drawn. On the inside it said, “Happy Birthday, Alyssa. What do you want to do today for your birthday? Love Alex.” He also taped $10 in it. $10 of his OWN money!

Alex has always been generous. His philanthropy amazes me. He is always willing to give, give and give some more. Tim and I struggled with letting him give her the money. It is so sweet. Yet, we don’t want him to give away all of his money. Here’s a picture of my compassionate little guy.

After Alyssa opened the card with the $10, I told her that it was his money that he had given her. The following conversation ensued:

Alyssa: “Alex, are you sure you want to give me your money?”

Alex: “Yes!”

Me: “Aww, that is so sweet of you guys.”

Alex: “I couldn’t decide how much to give her. Then I remembered she was going to be 10 so I thought $10 would be good.”

Me: “Alex, you are such a sweetheart! I love you.”

That’s my six, almost seven, year old son, always thinking how to be kind. Well, except when he’s fighting with his siblings.

This Christmas was our first Christmas in South Carolina. See, it was a good thing we had decided not to travel. First of all, the drive would have been awful. Twenty hours in a van with three children – makes me want to slit my wrists just thinking about it. Not to mention that we would have had to drive through tons and tons of snow and cold. My Mom said they couldn’t even get out of their front door and it took a lot of pushing to open the back door. Although, my kids would have loved to have been there to play in the snow. All three of them kept asking MOM, WHEN IS IT GOING TO SNOW HERE? I digress.

Typically, my kids are really good about going to bed Christmas Eve. They know that in order for Santa to come, they have to be asleep. For some reason, I had a tough time going to sleep Christmas Eve. Maybe it was the excitement of Christmas morning, wondering if the kids (Tim included) would enjoy their gifts. Maybe it was the holiday classic I was watching, Forensic Files. I shut the TV off around 1:00 in the morning. GIRLFRIEND, YOU HAVE GOT TO GET SOME SLEEP. As I lay there, I started to hear some commotion upstairs. What are those kids doing? Surely they won’t try to come downstairs. It is way too early. Shortly there after, I hear the pitter patter of little feet on the stairs and the glow of the flashlight swinging about. I come out of my bedroom and find ALL THREE of them about half way down the stairs shining the flashlight directly on the presents “St. Nick” had left hours before.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? GET BACK TO BED! They hurried back up the stairs totally shocked they had been busted.

Around 6:00 am, I can hear them waking up and getting around. I got up to brush my teeth so I’d be ready when they came downstairs. However, I didn’t have time to complete my task when I hear MOM AND DAD’S LIGHT IS ON, WE CAN GO DOWN.

With the master bedroom on the main level, gone are the days of telling the kids WAIT FOR US BEFORE YOU GO DOWNSTAIRS. I had barely peed when Alyssa brought her new skateboard in to show me.

The excitement – that’s what I love most about Christmas. It’s what makes the exhaustion worth it.

It has always been a Carter tradition to make sugar cookies for Santa. I received the recipe several years ago from my cousin, Kim. It is a process to make them BUT everyone is involved and it is a lot of fun.

First, the kids and I make the dough. In years past I used to make a double batch of the dough because we LOVE to eat cookie dough. However, with all the e coli outbreaks, specifically Nestlé’s chocolate chip cookie dough, we don’t do that anymore! Although everyone tends to grab a little bit here and there. After the dough has been refrigerated for a few hours or overnight, I roll it out. The kids use the cookie cutters. Tim is responsible for the oven and moving them to the cooling racks. Then the next day is comprised of making icing and the kids getting to decorate with sprinkles. There are always lots of sprinkles everywhere. Some cookies you’d think are nothing but a big pile of sprinkles!

Here’s a picture from this year. Getting ready for Santa…

On the way to school the other day, my six year-old son, Andy, says MOM, WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY?

ARE YOU FREAKIN’ KIDDING ME??!!! DID YOUR DAD PUT YOU UP TO ASKING THAT QUESTION? SERIOUSLY! I THINK IT’S A CONSPIRACY AGAINST ME!!

The hardest, most thankless job in the world is a stay-at-home Mom. Admit it, you have heard thought or even said to someone OH, YOU’RE JUST A STAY-AT-HOME MOM. The message behind that comment is YOU SIT AT HOME AND EAT BON BONS ALL DAY. I’ll admit, I’ve thought it before I was a stay-at-home Mom. And there are some days I wonder that about myself now.

I often hear YOU HAVE SEVEN HOURS A DAY TO DO WHAT YOU CHOOSE. Yes, that’s true. Once I get the kids to school I have just about seven hours before I have to pick them up. However, I don’t always get to choose how I spend my day. In fact, I rarely choose how to spend my time. There is always something that needs to be done.

This past week after Alyssa had the H1N1 virus and went back to school, I disinfected the whole house. I did laundry. I sanitized Alyssa’s bedding and towels; in addition, to the rest of the laundry that needed to be done. I try to work out. Working out is important to health and well being not only physically but also emotionally. A well balanced Mom is important to the family. I try to write this blog. Tim’s birthday was this past week so I made him a card and baked him a cake. Don’t forget the grocery shopping and the Costco run. I pick up the stuff people tend to leave everywhere. There are just so many little things that need to get done. It all adds up. Before I know it they day is gone and I’m trying to figure out where it went while I’m trying to quickly thaw something from the freezer because I forgot to take and out and now what are we having for dinner?!!

I often wonder how I got this all done before I stayed at home. I think a lot has to do with that when I worked, I didn’t have to defend myself everyday. Now I do. I have to defend myself because this didn’t get done because of that or that didn’t get done because of this. Did you notice how I defended that I work out?! If something didn’t get done before, it wasn’t that big of a deal. Now if I don’t get something done I have to walk on eggshells. What am I going to do if my boss fires me?

I feel I’m failing miserably at everything in my life. I’m not working outside the home; therefore I’m not contributing financially. I was hoping I could make a little money by writing this blog but that hasn’t worked either. I work out but can’t really lose any weight. I know a lot has to do with my eating habits but changing them is hard. And I’m not too much of a Susie homemaker either. I hate cleaning house. I hate to cook. I have some of the pickiest people in the world living in my house. Trying to find something that they will all eat is like trying to find the needle in the haystack.

So what am I doing? I’m struggling to find my place in life. Where do I fit in? Where is that balance?

When we moved to South Carolina, I made a decision. I dumped the dishes we were using and decided that our good dishes were now going to be our every day dishes.

Like all brides registering for gifts, we had picked our good dishes. When we were registering, at least I had sense enough to register for dishes that could go in the dishwasher. I thought if I’m going to have that many people over and cook for all of them, the last thing I would want to do is to wash all those freakin’ dishes by hand.

As we approached our twelfth wedding anniversary, our good dishes were probably used twelve times. It seemed silly to me to have dishes that were nice. With bowls that were easier to drink out of. And NOT be using them. It reminds me of Erma Bombeck’s infamous quote If I Had My Life to Live Over. Well, Erma, I don’t have good dishes anymore, and that’s mighty fine by me. Because every day is a good day when you have your family near.

It was this destination that I realized just how afraid of heights I am. I made it to the top, but I was extremely nervous. I had to stand back about three feet from the edge of the rock. I would freak out when the kids would go right up to the edge. I’d start yelling at Tim: Get over here! Someone needs to be with them and it sure isn’t going to be me.

As we descended, Alyssa’s fear emerged. She didn’t like going down the steps and having so much open space around her. I held her hand while we walked down the steps. That seemed to help, BOTH of us. Thank goodness there were lots of places to stop along the way down. It gave us a chance to re-group and get our feet on solid ground.

We decided to upgrade our tickets to annual passes. I like to hike and spend time outdoors. I can’t wait until we go back in fall and see all the colors on the trees. It will be even more amazing!

As the boys played more and more, Tim and I got to know Todd and Laura. We realized just how much fun they were to be around. All this happened about the time we found out we were moving to South Carolina. DANG IT!! I was OK with moving until I got to know them. In a very short amount of time, the Hildreths and the Carters have become very close friends.

Realizing time was short. We started spending as much time together as possible… cookouts, sleepovers and pool time.

On our last day, the Hildreths rented a pontoon boat. We spent the entire afternoon at Lake Jacomo. It was great!! Of course, there was the time when we thought the boat was anchored. We swam off only to realize that we weren’t REALLY anchored. The boat went floating off. Luckily Tim was on the boat. He waited until I swam all the way back with Will and I said, “Don’t you think we should go get them,” before he started the boat to go pick the rest of the passengers.

I couldn’t think of a better way to spend my last day in Kansas City… good friends, good times.

DANG IT!! I almost wish I didn’t get to know them. I miss them very much!

At one point I asked Alex if he was going to miss me. I expected him to say yes. He tends to be a little clingy and wants to make sure every detail is covered before it happens. He is just like his Mom. However, this is what I heard, “Mom, it’s only four days. It’s no big deal.” OUCH!!!

Every night while we were gone, we would call the kids and talk to them about their day. One night while talking to Alex he says to me, “Mom, I miss you.”

Me: “Aww, I miss you too, buddy. We’ll be home soon.”

Tim: “What about me? Do you miss me?”

Alex: “Umm, not so much.” OUCH!!!

As Tim is absorbing the shock of his comment, I couldn’t help but laugh. I know, I wasn’t very sympathetic and if it was reversed, I would have been devastated.

Alex tried to redeem himself: “Mom, Dad isn’t here as much.”

Tim didn’t find much comfort in his redemption. However, he did understand. Poor Daddy. I had to remind Tim that as soon as he gets home from work, all the kids want him and I’m nothing more than chopped liver. It was nice that I was missed for a change.