I am Michelle D. Carter

WHAT DID YOU DO ALL DAY? I can tell you that when these words are uttered from the lips of my husband, there will most definitely be a knock down drag out heated discussion in our household.

On the way to school the other day, my six year-old son, Andy, says MOM, WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY?

ARE YOU FREAKIN’ KIDDING ME??!!! DID YOUR DAD PUT YOU UP TO ASKING THAT QUESTION? SERIOUSLY! I THINK IT’S A CONSPIRACY AGAINST ME!!

The hardest, most thankless job in the world is a stay-at-home Mom. Admit it, you have heard thought or even said to someone OH, YOU’RE JUST A STAY-AT-HOME MOM. The message behind that comment is YOU SIT AT HOME AND EAT BON BONS ALL DAY. I’ll admit, I’ve thought it before I was a stay-at-home Mom. And there are some days I wonder that about myself now.

I often hear YOU HAVE SEVEN HOURS A DAY TO DO WHAT YOU CHOOSE. Yes, that’s true. Once I get the kids to school I have just about seven hours before I have to pick them up. However, I don’t always get to choose how I spend my day. In fact, I rarely choose how to spend my time. There is always something that needs to be done.

This past week after Alyssa had the H1N1 virus and went back to school, I disinfected the whole house. I did laundry. I sanitized Alyssa’s bedding and towels; in addition, to the rest of the laundry that needed to be done. I try to work out. Working out is important to health and well being not only physically but also emotionally. A well balanced Mom is important to the family. I try to write this blog. Tim’s birthday was this past week so I made him a card and baked him a cake. Don’t forget the grocery shopping and the Costco run. I pick up the stuff people tend to leave everywhere. There are just so many little things that need to get done. It all adds up. Before I know it they day is gone and I’m trying to figure out where it went while I’m trying to quickly thaw something from the freezer because I forgot to take and out and now what are we having for dinner?!!

I often wonder how I got this all done before I stayed at home. I think a lot has to do with that when I worked, I didn’t have to defend myself everyday. Now I do. I have to defend myself because this didn’t get done because of that or that didn’t get done because of this. Did you notice how I defended that I work out?! If something didn’t get done before, it wasn’t that big of a deal. Now if I don’t get something done I have to walk on eggshells. What am I going to do if my boss fires me?

I feel I’m failing miserably at everything in my life. I’m not working outside the home; therefore I’m not contributing financially. I was hoping I could make a little money by writing this blog but that hasn’t worked either. I work out but can’t really lose any weight. I know a lot has to do with my eating habits but changing them is hard. And I’m not too much of a Susie homemaker either. I hate cleaning house. I hate to cook. I have some of the pickiest people in the world living in my house. Trying to find something that they will all eat is like trying to find the needle in the haystack.

So what am I doing? I’m struggling to find my place in life. Where do I fit in? Where is that balance?

It’s been two weeks since Halloween. We still have quite a bit of Halloween candy in the pantry. The kids rarely get into it anymore. Saturday night I was craving some chocolate. As I look through each of their bags I see Alyssa still has the regular sized Snickers bar that our next door neighbors had given each of the kids. The boys had eaten theirs a long time ago!

I grab it and ask Tim, “Do you think Alyssa will miss this?”

Tim, “I doubt it after all this time.”

SWEET! It tasted so good!! Yummy, gooey, chocolaty!!!

Sunday night, the kids and I are lying in my bed watching TV before bed. All of the sudden, Alyssa says, “I still have that big Snickers bar.” Her comment wasn’t to anyone in particular, just stating a fact. She went right back to watching TV.

WHAT?!! Did she know that I had eaten it? How did she know?!! I about died. It’s a good thing she’s already had her snack for the night. I knew as soon as I dropped the kids off at school in the morning, I would stop at the grocery store on the way home and purchase a Snickers bar for her. She won’t even know it’s missing.

This morning as I am getting breakfast ready, I find Alyssa rummaging through her sack of candy. DAMN IT!! I knew she was looking for that damn Snickers bar. I watched hoping she’d move on to something else. I didn’t want to have to explain that her Mom is eating her candy. Sure enough, she starts to bring the bag towards me. I knew EXACTLY what she was going to say.

I didn’t give her the chance to say anything. I confessed on the spot, “I ate your candy bar. I’m stopping at the store after I drop you off at school and buying you a candy bar AND Toaster Strudel.”

Alyssa responds, “A big one.”

Yes, Dear, I know!

The boys love to pick flowers for me. It is such a sweet sentiment!

Yet, we’ve had to have the discussion that they can’t pick flowers from my yard. And you certainly can’t pick flowers from anyone else’s yard. Unfortunately we have had this conversation SEVERAL times.

Then they started picking weeds. You know dandelions, clover and whatever else they could find. I would politely thank them and they’d run outside and play. I thought I would be sneaky and toss them in the garbage expecting them to forget about the little treasures they had so delicately gathered especially for me.

That would work for a little while, but as they got older, they would remember. Hey Mom, where are the flowers I picked for you? Crap! Don’t I feel like an ass?!! They just wanted to show me how important I was to them and I tossed that in the garbage.

A few weeks ago Andy brought in a “flower” he had picked for me. It was a weed with thorns AND the root. I’m not sure how he didn’t hurt himself. As the dirt was being spread across my clean counter and he was all like Mom, you need to get it in water RIGHT NOW so it won’t die.

I delicately said THERE IS NO WAY I’M KEEPING THAT DAMN WEED IN THE HOUSE.

The next morning, bright and early, Andy and I headed off to the grocery store and I let him pick a bunch of flowers for me. BOTH of us were happy!

I’m going to piggy back off of yesterday’s post. While the bowls are awesome, they are definitely for kids. And if an adult was to use one, I would say they had issues that were mostly likely addressed at the psycho ward. OK, alright, that [psycho ward] is exactly where I found them [the bowls]. I was able to smuggle a couple out as I was released.

When we moved to South Carolina, I made a decision. I dumped the dishes we were using and decided that our good dishes were now going to be our every day dishes.

Like all brides registering for gifts, we had picked our good dishes. When we were registering, at least I had sense enough to register for dishes that could go in the dishwasher. I thought if I’m going to have that many people over and cook for all of them, the last thing I would want to do is to wash all those freakin’ dishes by hand.

As we approached our twelfth wedding anniversary, our good dishes were probably used twelve times. It seemed silly to me to have dishes that were nice. With bowls that were easier to drink out of. And NOT be using them. It reminds me of Erma Bombeck’s infamous quote If I Had My Life to Live Over. Well, Erma, I don’t have good dishes anymore, and that’s mighty fine by me. Because every day is a good day when you have your family near.

I swear this is the best invention EVER!!!! I SO wish I had invented it. I’d be laughing in Donny Deutsch’s face. OK, maybe not. But I think it’s pretty incredible.

The bowls we were previously using had a very wide mouth on them. It was difficult for me to drink from them, let alone the kids. At breakfast every morning, I was cleaning more milk up off my clothes, the kids’ clothes, the table and the floor than what I ACTUALLY poured in the bowl in the first place. SERIOUSLY, I’m not joking here.

One day, at the grocery store, I stumbled upon these little treasures. There it was! Plastic bowls with A STRAW ATTACHED TO THE SIDE OF THE BOWL!! The room darkened and the disco ball lowered as angels sang.

Now when they finish their cereal, they simply use the straw and suck it up. No more crying over spilt milk. Awe, yes, breakfast is much better.

Now what can I invent and make millions????

August 19, 2009 was a day of many firsts.

It was the first day of school at our new school. Don’t they look so cute? It is Alyssa’s first day of fourth grade and the boys’ first day of first grade.

It was also the first time they were able to choose what they wanted to wear on the first day of school. At our old school, we had our “first day of school” t-shirts to wear. Each student was required encouraged to purchase a first day of school t-shirt. This t-shirt was also your field trip shirt. I must admit they did keep the costs of the shirts to a minimum. The last couple of years, the school sponsored a fund raiser that would allow all students to get their t-shirts for free.

As they arrived home from their first day of their new school in their first day outfits, they all had paperwork for me to fill out. It was the first time I had to fill out so much paperwork. In addition to filling out the standard contact information for EACH child, I also was required to fill out information regarding any “concerns” I had about them in school. And while I stared at that mountain of paperwork and thought to myself ISN’T THAT YOUR JOB TO FIGURE OUT WHICH SUBJECTS MY KIDS ARE GOOD AT AND WHICH ONES THEY NEED IMPROVEMENT THAT WOULD BE THE REASON YOU GIVE THEM A GRADE. But, I believe it is a partnership with the teachers. I grab the stack determined to finish before carpel tunnel got the best of me.

As I progressed through the form, I got to the question of discipline. Please list what works best and least with your child. I was so tempted to write that the best form of discipline was TO TIE THEM UP AND LOCK THEM IN A DARK CLOSET. Yep, do that a couple times and the kids would do whatever you asked as long as they didn’t have to go back into the closet. For once I didn’t let temptation get the best of me. I played it out in my head that the Department of Family Services would make sure that I never saw my kids again if I wrote that. Instead, I wrote what I’m sure most every other intelligent parent wrote ENCOURAGEMENT TO DO THEIR BEST is the best form of discipline. What else did they expect us to write?!

Well we FINALLY made it. We are in South Carolina. It was a very LONG and TUMULTUOUS journey. One that I am glad is behind us. I’ll bring you up to date over the next few days, weeks, whatever it turns out to be. Thank you for your patience and dedication. 

We are getting down to the wire. I’m starting to freak out. Too much to do and not enough time. Oh well, the packers can finish it now. But wait I still need to get through that and that and that over there. My Mom’s coming to help, yeah!

So with that, I’m taking a break from blogging until I’m in the South. See y’all when I get there.

Things are starting to move forward with the move. Later this week Tim and I will be looking for our new home. Well, we hope to be anyway. The realtor won’t return my call. Yes, I’m frustrated about that. We have three days to find our home and the woman can’t even call me. I’m ready to move on. I’m waiting to hear from the relocation counselor on how to proceed.

Grandma and Grandpa will be taking care of the wee ones for us. Hopefully they’ll be on their best behavior… the kids too. I’ve been busy making sure the laundry is done, refrigerator is stocked and there are plenty of things lined up for them to do.

I’m finally getting a little allergy relief only to be hit hard, really hard, with a cold. Yesterday was the worst. I feel a little better today and hope that tomorrow will be better yet.

The house hunting, the cold, the kids are consuming me. Therefore, this is my only post this week.

Last night Alyssa had her fly-up ceremony to be Junior Girl Scout. These girls have been together since Kindergarten. And while, it’s only been four years, it has been neat to watch them grow together. They’ve evolved physically from little more than toddlers with chubby cheeks to girls no longer showing signs of baby fat. The emotional development is phenomenal. They are becoming comfortable in their own skin and have the support of each other to do just that.

I sat and watched each girl and felt my heart fall. Soon we will be moving from these amazing girls. Alyssa will leave some of her closest friends.

I tried to hold back the tears. Tim was supportive. He leaned over and said, “this [her new green sash] is for Alyssa, not for your blubbering.”

Thanks, Dear! I know I can always count on you!