I am Michelle D. Carter

One evening while we were shopping for jeans for the boys, I found them. Their very first ties! Yes, they are clip-ons. They have a cute little reindeer on them. I just knew the boys would enjoy them. It was the week before Thanksgiving and this is how it went down:

I was downstairs in my closet getting dressed when Alyssa came in.

Alyssa: “Mom, Alex is hollering for you.”

Me: “Do you know why?”

Alyssa: “No.”

Me: “Would you please go see what he wants?”

A few moments later…

Alyssa: “He doesn’t have any clean pants.”

I head upstairs to find the only thing he has left in his closet that isn’t high waters is athletic pants.

Me: “Guys, how many times have I told you that when you run out of pants, you need to let me know BEFORE you need them?”

Alex: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Well it looks like you’ll be wearing these [the athletic pants] and I’ll get your laundry done today.”

I head back downstairs and make their breakfast.

Moments later, Alex comes downstairs with a big grin on his face just as proud as he could be. He’s wearing the athletic pants (they are black with red and white stripes on the side), a blue and white button down checked shirt that is off two buttons and his red reindeer tie. It was hysterically cute! He was so proud of himself.

Me: “Alex, you can’t wear your tie with those pants. How about I do your laundry today and then you can where it tomorrow.”

Alex: “No, Mom. I want to wear it today.”

Alyssa: “He can just take some pants out of the hamper.”

Alex: “There were some right on top.”

Me: “I suppose.” I knew it was a battle I wasn’t going to win so I conceded.

Andy: “Mom, will you help me? I want to wear my tie too.”

Me: “Of course I will.”

The next thing I know Alyssa has changed and is wearing a dress. All three were so proud of themselves. And rightfully so!!

WHAT DID YOU DO ALL DAY? I can tell you that when these words are uttered from the lips of my husband, there will most definitely be a knock down drag out heated discussion in our household.

On the way to school the other day, my six year-old son, Andy, says MOM, WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY?

ARE YOU FREAKIN’ KIDDING ME??!!! DID YOUR DAD PUT YOU UP TO ASKING THAT QUESTION? SERIOUSLY! I THINK IT’S A CONSPIRACY AGAINST ME!!

The hardest, most thankless job in the world is a stay-at-home Mom. Admit it, you have heard thought or even said to someone OH, YOU’RE JUST A STAY-AT-HOME MOM. The message behind that comment is YOU SIT AT HOME AND EAT BON BONS ALL DAY. I’ll admit, I’ve thought it before I was a stay-at-home Mom. And there are some days I wonder that about myself now.

I often hear YOU HAVE SEVEN HOURS A DAY TO DO WHAT YOU CHOOSE. Yes, that’s true. Once I get the kids to school I have just about seven hours before I have to pick them up. However, I don’t always get to choose how I spend my day. In fact, I rarely choose how to spend my time. There is always something that needs to be done.

This past week after Alyssa had the H1N1 virus and went back to school, I disinfected the whole house. I did laundry. I sanitized Alyssa’s bedding and towels; in addition, to the rest of the laundry that needed to be done. I try to work out. Working out is important to health and well being not only physically but also emotionally. A well balanced Mom is important to the family. I try to write this blog. Tim’s birthday was this past week so I made him a card and baked him a cake. Don’t forget the grocery shopping and the Costco run. I pick up the stuff people tend to leave everywhere. There are just so many little things that need to get done. It all adds up. Before I know it they day is gone and I’m trying to figure out where it went while I’m trying to quickly thaw something from the freezer because I forgot to take and out and now what are we having for dinner?!!

I often wonder how I got this all done before I stayed at home. I think a lot has to do with that when I worked, I didn’t have to defend myself everyday. Now I do. I have to defend myself because this didn’t get done because of that or that didn’t get done because of this. Did you notice how I defended that I work out?! If something didn’t get done before, it wasn’t that big of a deal. Now if I don’t get something done I have to walk on eggshells. What am I going to do if my boss fires me?

I feel I’m failing miserably at everything in my life. I’m not working outside the home; therefore I’m not contributing financially. I was hoping I could make a little money by writing this blog but that hasn’t worked either. I work out but can’t really lose any weight. I know a lot has to do with my eating habits but changing them is hard. And I’m not too much of a Susie homemaker either. I hate cleaning house. I hate to cook. I have some of the pickiest people in the world living in my house. Trying to find something that they will all eat is like trying to find the needle in the haystack.

So what am I doing? I’m struggling to find my place in life. Where do I fit in? Where is that balance?

It’s been two weeks since Halloween. We still have quite a bit of Halloween candy in the pantry. The kids rarely get into it anymore. Saturday night I was craving some chocolate. As I look through each of their bags I see Alyssa still has the regular sized Snickers bar that our next door neighbors had given each of the kids. The boys had eaten theirs a long time ago!

I grab it and ask Tim, “Do you think Alyssa will miss this?”

Tim, “I doubt it after all this time.”

SWEET! It tasted so good!! Yummy, gooey, chocolaty!!!

Sunday night, the kids and I are lying in my bed watching TV before bed. All of the sudden, Alyssa says, “I still have that big Snickers bar.” Her comment wasn’t to anyone in particular, just stating a fact. She went right back to watching TV.

WHAT?!! Did she know that I had eaten it? How did she know?!! I about died. It’s a good thing she’s already had her snack for the night. I knew as soon as I dropped the kids off at school in the morning, I would stop at the grocery store on the way home and purchase a Snickers bar for her. She won’t even know it’s missing.

This morning as I am getting breakfast ready, I find Alyssa rummaging through her sack of candy. DAMN IT!! I knew she was looking for that damn Snickers bar. I watched hoping she’d move on to something else. I didn’t want to have to explain that her Mom is eating her candy. Sure enough, she starts to bring the bag towards me. I knew EXACTLY what she was going to say.

I didn’t give her the chance to say anything. I confessed on the spot, “I ate your candy bar. I’m stopping at the store after I drop you off at school and buying you a candy bar AND Toaster Strudel.”

Alyssa responds, “A big one.”

Yes, Dear, I know!

Mayhem, mayhem, mayhem. It has been CRAZY! MAD, I tell you!! I sat down to write this post on Tuesday. Yes, Tuesday, a whole 3 days ago. All hell broke loose and I am now forcing myself to sit down and complete this.

Tuesday’s interruption involved a brief outing with one of my neighbors to do a little shopping. A couple of my favorite stores were having sales. I was pretty disappointed in the “sales” and was walking out the door when I found new treat bags for the kids for Halloween. It was a sturdy, decent sized canvas bag with treats embroidered on it. Original price $12.95, sale price $1. Sweet!! It was just a little interruption. I knew I could recover fairly easy. Then…

Two of my three sweet little children became ill. Andy complained about his ears hurting. An ear infection for sure! He has a tendency to get them. We’ve been able to forgo the tubes route. This was his first one in a long time. Though I hate that he is in pain, it was nice to be able to hold him close and snuggle for as long as we did. The boy was on fire. His temperature was 103.4. A trip to the doctor confirmed my diagnosis. Keep the Motrin flowing, some antibiotic and the kid is good to go.

My sweet girl, who is rarely sick, says, “Mom, my head hurts, my tummy hurts and my legs are shaky.” As I look into her beautiful eyes, I knew she isn’t feeling good and we are most likely dealing with the flu. The doctor confirms my diagnosis with her as well. H1N1. The unexpected, strep throat too. Her fever that was taken the same time as her brother’s yielded a temp of 100.5. Not too bad. However, at the doctor, her temp was 102.8. Andy’s was normal. Luckily she’s been a trooper through most of this. As long as she has Motrin in her, she does fairly well. She was counting down until her next dosage so we started the Motrin/Tylenol switch. She’s drinking plenty of fluids and is even eating. The doctor said she should be good by Monday. I’m counting on that so I can send her back to school and I can totally disinfect the house. Right now, my precious little sweetie is catching a few zzz’s. I’m sure something she definitely needs!!

So, back to the rest of this post… let’s start with the haunted houses. This year I took my daughter to her first ever adult haunted house. It was an outing scheduled through her Girl Scout troop. Some of the other Moms were skeptical so I thought I should be too. I wasn’t sure how she would react. The house we went through was a theater. This haunted house had a plot through the entire thing. It was awesome! Also probably the most appropriate for her age as well. Alyssa loved it! MOM, I WANT TO GO AGAIN!! One of her little friends wasn’t as resilient. She had to take the emergency exit. Alyssa had tried to console her friend the best she could but it just wouldn’t help. I was proud of her. Part of it may be that when she was younger and would watch something scary on TV, I was always quick to point out that it was just TV. Make-believe. Not real. Just a movie/cartoon/show. The last thing I wanted was to be waked from my slumber by a scared girl. I’m not a very nice person when I am not completely rested. I see haunted houses in my future for quite some time now that my girl is excited about them.

Ghouls. Halloween was kind of a dreary day. Perfect for Halloween. The kids could NOT wait to go trick or treating. Each carefully picked their costume. Alex was the Tales from the Crypt guy. Alyssa was Wednesday Addams. Andy was a skeleton. Don’t they all look ghoulishly frighteningly sweet?!! Tim roamed the hood with one of the neighbors and their kids. They had a great time! And I love all the candy they got for ME. Such little sweeties!

Wishing you all health and wellness. And none of the nasty H1N1 bugs find you.