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on Friday, May 15th, 2009 at 10:29 am and is filed under Kids, Parenting.
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Recently, Alex has been asking a lot of questions regarding when the police take you to jail and the reasons why you would go. We believe in answering their questions as honestly as we can. Most of his questions were very general: “Mom, you go to jail for doing bad things, right?”
Me: “Well, it depends. Yes, some things you will go to jail. However, some things you won’t. If you don’t listen to Mom & Dad, that’s not good, but you won’t go to jail over it. Well, I guess that depends on what you do.” OK, I have totally over analyzed this seeming simple question but in my defense, it is difficult to give a yes/no answer.
His questions were coming more and more often and I could tell that something about this was really bothering him. I tried to answer them honestly, yet let him know that he hadn’t done anything wrong and would not be going to jail. The questions then turned to if you could see your Mom and Dad in jail. Where is this coming from??!!!
Alex, before we were getting ready to head to his soccer game: “Can the police come get you when you are at soccer?”
Me: “Yes, they can. Alex, you haven’t done anything wrong. They aren’t going to take you away from Mom and Dad.”
I thought he understood.
Alex was asking Tim questions about jail too. He was unaware of just how much this bothered him. I forgot the question Alex asked Tim. Tim’s response didn’t consider his feelings. I immediately spoke up, “Tim, stop it. He has been asking a lot of questions about this and it bothers him.”
Tears are now streaming down Alex’s face. Tim: “I’m sorry buddy. You are not going to jail.”
We’ve tried to ask him why he is so worried. We can’t get an answer that will help us help him. I thought he was doing better. Until…
Alex, as he moves closer to me: “Mom, look! It’s the police. What are they doing?”
Me: “They are probably checking to see if people are speeding or something like that. You know, it’s also the police’s job to keep us safe. They might just be making sure everything is OK.”
I guess one benefit is that if he notices the police car before I do, then he’ll warn me and I can quit speeding. Maybe I should make arrangements to take him to the police station and show him that they are here to protect and serve. My luck, I will only further traumatize him.
