I am Michelle D. Carter

The internet is truly an amazing beast! A technical phenomenon!

A few weeks ago, the kids were watching a movie. Christina Applegate was typing on a typewriter. I asked Alyssa if she knew what it was. She responded, “I have no clue.” No clue? Are you kidding me? I received a really nice typewriter as a gift once and I thought I was hot stuff. And by the way, it’s not typing class anymore, it’s keyboarding. It is also no longer standard practice to put two spaces after a period. You only need one. This was a hard habit for me to break.

Last night, Alyssa came home from school and said she had a report to do. She wants to do it on some soccer dude. I started thinking this is going to be easy. I told her, “No problem, we’ll just Google him and get the information.” I thought back to when I had to do reports. It involved going to the library, searching through the card catalog, cross referencing the card catalog and then finding the books in the library. As I made my way down the aisles analyzing the Dewey Decimal System hoping the book I needed wasn’t checked out.

Now we have the social networks of LinkedIn, Facebook and Twitter. You can find, reconnect and stay connected with anyone, anywhere. Some people even have their own blogs. Oh yeah, that’s what this is.

Ah, the World Wide Web, how did we ever survive without you? I wonder what will be next…

Last night Tim and I were lying in bed watching TV and he said, “I got a little depressed this morning while I was in the shower.”

I asked, “Why?” Thoughts began to run through my head. I expected him to say something about moving to South Carolina. Tim was born and raised in Lee’s Summit. The farthest he’s lived away from Lee’s Summit is about a half hour drive north of the Missouri River in North Kansas City.

As my thoughts turned to more vulgar reasons as to why he’d be depressed in the shower, he answered, “I realized that our time with Alyssa is half over. She’s nine. Nine more years she’ll be eighteen and moving out and going to college.”

Me: “No.”

Tim: “Yeah, and these were the good years. Then next nine is when she’ll get all hormonal and teenager on us.”

Me: “No!”

So this morning when she asked for pop tarts for breakfast, instead of telling her to get them herself, I got them for her. Instead of working on the computer while they watched TV before the bus came, I snuggled with her. Instead of focusing on the boys because they tend to require more of my attention, I focused on my girl. Don’t grow up too fast Alyssa. Mommy still needs you!

Sshhh… it’s a secret. These are words you never utter to children if you want to keep something a secret. Kids actually hear go tell everyone you can right now instead.

We had some news to tell the kids. We wanted to tell them soon but didn’t want them to share it with anyone just yet. Do we tell them? Do we not tell them? Finally, we decided that we would let them know and ask them to keep it quiet until we knew more.

BIG MISTAKE! As soon as the news entered their brains, it was traveling out their mouth towards anyone that would listen.

The news, you ask? Dear hubby received a promotion at work. This will require us to relocate to Greenville, South Carolina. We just found out last Tuesday. We told the kids on Wednesday. By Thursday, everyone knew.

It is bitter sweet news. We are excited about the opportunity; yet this has been our home for so long. It will be good. It’s just getting there.

No move date set at this point. We will stay in Lee’s Summit until school is out.

All in all, we were glad we told the kids. It helps them understand and get involved in the process. Alex took it a little rough. He doesn’t want to move away from his friend, Jake.

Jake is over today playing with the boys. Jake said, “I don’t want you guys to move.”

Alex: “Sorry, Jake. My Dad got a new job.”

It will be a good move for us!

We give our kids an allowance. We want to teach them money management at a young age. They have chores they need to do; such as pick up their rooms, clear the dinner table, help with laundry. If they do additional chores they can earn more money. If Tim or I end up doing their normal chores, then they have to pay us.

It seems to be a good process. However, they tend to think anything they do means extra money. Someone will help vacuum and then ask, “How much money do I get?”

“No one pays me to clean the house. This is all part of working together as a family,” I try to explain but usually gets me no where.

Last night Andy comes up to me with his hands full of change and puts it on the table beside where I’m sitting.

Me: “What’s this?”

Andy: “You said no one pays you to clean and since you helped me with my toys, I want to give you this.”

Now wasn’t that the cutest, sweetest thing?!! Thanks Bug-a-boo! I love you!!!

I am the primary caregiver for our children. I am the one who gets them ready for school in the morning. I make the majority of their meals. Hey, McDonald’s drive thru still counts. I’m the one driving aren’t I?! I do the laundry. They’ve only had to dig through the hamper a couple of times. Luckily, it was for jeans and not underwear.

Because I am the primary caregiver, sometimes I get so wrapped up in doing all the “chores” that I don’t get to just snuggle with my babies. Of course, they aren’t babies anymore and are becoming more and more independent every day.

When the opportunity arises to snuggle, I jump at the chance. However, because I am the one who is with them more and Daddy’s time isn’t as accessible as Mom’s, the kids prefer to snuggle with Dad. I understand that some of the time.

Other times; however, I asked them, “What about me? Am I chopped liver?”

The usual response is, “Yes.” They giggle and jump right in Tim’s lap.

A couple of nights ago, the boys wanted to snuggle. Dad wasn’t home yet so I was prime real estate. I’ll take it anyway I can get it! Andy was the first one in my lap. Alex tried to push him out and take over but I said, “Andy was here first. You can wait your turn.”

Alex responded, “What am I, chopped liver?”

I answered the only way a respectful Mother could, “Yep!”

The Easter Bunny brought us a Wii Fit for Easter. What a good bunny! Once it was hooked up that glorious Sunday morning, it was on ALL day. A good time was had by all.

For those of you unfamiliar with the Wii Fit, there are four sections: yoga, strength, aerobics and balance games. Within each section, there are exercises that help you achieve your fit goals. The more time you spend on the Wii Fit and each exercise, it unlocks additional exercises and more advance moves and/or additional repetitions. It will weigh you; tell you your BMI and what your Wii Fit age is. It will also let you know if you are too shaky during a particular move and encourage you to continue to practice to get better. It also ranks you from beginner/couch potato to professional/body builder.

The kids spend most of their time on games. I primarily focus on yoga and strength. However, they will occasionally check out a different section. I also enjoy doing the games. It is a fun way to exercise.

Andy has a new favorite exercise. It is the push-up/side plank strength exercise. He says, “Mom, this one is easy peasy.” Obviously it must be for him because his score is 100 points. I believe that puts him at the body builder level. I, on the other hand, barely scores 30 points on this particular exercise, definitely putting me on couch potato status.

I know that females have a weaker upper body. I also kick butt when it comes to the lower body exercises. BUT to have that big of a difference, SHEESH! I think I just found my motivation to work my upper body. Is it wrong to be in competition with your six-year-old son?!! Not if it makes you stronger.

Yesterday’s post explained how Alex almost got a lesson in sexual intercourse from the TV. A couple of days ago, Oprah had How to Talk to Your Child About Sex on her show. I believe in being open and honest about this topic. I’ve talked with Alyssa about where babies come from.

I wanted to watch Oprah’s show because I think you can’t have too much information regarding this topic. Especially since things have changed since I was in school. I hear about middle-school kids participating in oral sex parties and I just want to gag, both figuratively and literally. Kids are also sexting – sending naked pictures of themselves and very explicit text. Welcome to the new technology age…

I knew I wouldn’t be able to watch the entire program so I recorded it.

Tim arrived home from work. We were upstairs discussing what the plan was for the evening. Tim headed downstairs. I stayed up to put on my shoes or something like that.

After I get downstairs to start dinner, Tim pulls me off to the side. “Did you know what’s on Oprah today?”

Me: “Yeah, I’m recording it upstairs so I can watch it later.”

Tim: “I came down. Alyssa and Andy were glued to the TV and they were talking about vibrators.”

Me: ‘giggle, giggle.’

Oops, I did it again!! I left on the TV.  

A couple weekends ago it was rainy and cold outside. Seriously, I wonder if we are going to have spring this year. We’ll probably go right from winter to summer. Anyway, it was a great day to just lounge around the house and do nothing. And that is exactly what I did.

When I awoke from my slumber around 6:00 pm, Tim asked, “So, what’s for supper?”

I responded, “What are you fixing?” This is how I typically answer because I hate to cook and rarely plan meals in advance. I really need to find someone to do this for me.

With Alyssa still sleeping and my butt comfortably wedged in the couch, Tim decided to take the boys and run through Shanghi Boy. We also call it Alyssa’s favorite chicken because she loves their sesame chicken. It’s great fast Chinese food that is inexpensive to boot.

I began to channel surf. The TV all to myself… no kids, no husband. I can pick what I want to watch. Nothing on, it figures. I stopped on the movie, Fear. What begins as an innocent romance turns to deadly obsession when a charismatic young man (Mark Wahlberg) sets his sights on a 16-year-old girl (Reese Witherspoon) who always dreamed of being swept away by someone special. Its movies like this that is the reason you won’t let your daughter date – ever.

Tim and the boys arrive home with dinner. We sit down at the table and indulge. Alex is the first one to finish and heads to the living room where Fear is still on. About that time, Mark Wahlberg is pulling the covers off Reese Witherspoon while she’s sleeping. All she has on is a lace bra and panties. Matching, of course, because what else would a 16-year-old girl be wearing. Alex sees this and says, “Oh!”

Tim and I laugh. I tell him, “Alex, you can change the channel if you want.”

Alex: “I don’t want to.”

Me: “Yeah, I think it’s time to change the channel.”

Tim gets up and changes the channel. Alex rebels, “No, I didn’t want it changed. Turn it back.”

It’s a good thing we have the parental controls set on all the TVs. Who knows what they’d watch if they had free rein…

Alex: “Mom, take a drink of your coffee?”

Me: “I will. You need to get ready for school.”

Alex: “OK, but wait for me and Andy.”

…

Alex: “Hurry Andy, Mom’s about to drink her coffee.”

I take a drink.

Alex and Andy begin to sing: “There’s a fish in your coffee, April Fools, April Fools. There’s a fish in your coffee, April Fools, April April Fools.”

Me: “Yuck!”

Alex and Andy giggle.

Apparently the principal of our elementary school is a big coffee drinker and the music teacher came up with a song for today. Since I love coffee too, the boys decided to share the song with me.

They had a few more: A bee in your pocket. A bear in the bathtub. A skunk jumping on the bed. A snake in your bed.

So cute! I hope your April Fools goes well and no one plays a nasty joke on you.