I am Michelle D. Carter

‘Twas the morn of breakfast with Santa when all through the house not a creature was stirring, except for a mouse.

The letters were written with care, in hopes that St. Nick would be able to fill all they dare.

The children were nestled all snug in their bed, I saw Alex kick his brother in the head.

When down the stairs there arose such a clatter, I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the back door, I flew like a flash, and just like that, the dog did dash.

When what to my wondering eye, where are all the clean clothes? We have nothing to wear to see the big guy.

And then in a twinkling I heard in the laundry room, the washing machine go vroom, vroom.

Now, Alyssa! Now, Alex and Andy! Come on, Tim! Before we miss him!

His eyes, how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry! His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!

And his feet hit the floor. A sprint to the door, he wasn’t much more than a blur.

But we got our picture. And I exclaim as he drove out of sight, Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

It wasn’t your typical play date. This play date involved maturity and respectfulness. There was pleasant conversation. Never once did I hear the word penis, butt or fart. There wasn’t yelling, tattling or whining.

On this play date, there was laughter, lots of laughter, and not the kind that leads to someone getting hurt. Maybe that was due to the alcohol. There was also vagina talk.

This was a play date for Moms! Some of the Moms from my boys’ class decided to organize a get together so we could get to know each other a little more. What a great idea!!

We didn’t discuss our careers, our husband’s careers or the size of our bank accounts. None of that stuff seemed to matter. We talked about what was most important to us… our babies. We discussed our pregnancies, labor and delivery, which teacher we had and what our kids liked to do.

It was a nice change. I’m looking forward to more play dates for me!

Tim said years ago, that I could handle Alyssa’s bathroom issues. I told him that he would be responsible for Alex and Andy. After several cases of severe skid-marks, I told Tim he needed to step up to the plate, or should I say toilet, and teach them the proper wiping method. Hell, I don’t care if it is proper method, as long as they get the job done.

Tim neglected his duties until…yesterday. Alex was sitting on his lap.

Tim asks: “Good gravy boy, did you toot?”

Alex: “No, it’s my butt.”

A few minutes later…

Tim: “Did you toot again?”

Alex: “No, Dad, it’s my butt.”

Tim decided he needed to do a little inspection and sure enough… chunks. After removing the, well, you know. It was time for a lesson. FINALLY!!!

The snow moved in around noon. There wasn’t much accumulation. But it was cold, THAT was the problem. It made the roads slick. I watched people pushing cars in effort to get them out of the spinning wheel hell.

Crap, there is no way I’m going to make it home in time to get the kids off the bus. No problem, Alyssa has a key to the house for just such emergencies. She knows the rules, get in the house, lock the doors and call me.

I waited until five minutes after they should have been home then called. No answer. That’s OK. The weather is bad so maybe they are just a little later.

Actually, that’s the time they had already gotten in the house and Alyssa was on the phone with the alarm company. Tim’s been setting the alarm.

I was on the phone when they called me. While in voicemail, I also missed Alyssa’s call. I called her back and learned everyone was safe inside. She said the boys wanted to go outside. I knew that was coming. I told her to stay inside, have a snack and as long as everyone had their stuff picked up when I got home, they could go out.

A couple minutes later, my Mom calls. She’s on the list of people to call should our alarm goes off. I tell her that I need to call Tim and I’ll call her back.

Me: “You need to call Brinks and let them know everything is OK. The last thing we need is to have the police show up with our children home alone.”

Tim: “OK, what’s their number?”

Me: “I DON’T KNOW. If I had the number, I’d do it myself.”

I call Mom back to let her know what is going on. I reiterate about cops, kids, no parents.

Mom: “Well, kid, that lady said they had already contacted the police.”

Me: “I need to go and call my girl back to let her know the police might be coming.”

I call the house and Alyssa answers.

Alyssa: “Hi Mom.”

Me: “Hey, sweetie. Since it took you a little bit to get to the alarm, the alarm people called the police so they might be coming to the house.”

Alyssa: “Someone called here and I didn’t know who the heck it was. He kept asking me for a password and I didn’t know who it was.”

Me: “That was the alarm company sweetie.”

Alyssa: “There’s a police car now. Mom, I’ll just tell him that I was slipping and couldn’t get to the alarm.”

Me, as my heart sinks and I see myself making appearances in court trying to get my kids back from DFS: “Alyssa, it’s OK.”

Alyssa: “He’s turning on our street… he’s in our driveway… he’s getting out of the car.”

Me: “Alyssa, I’m going to stay on the phone with you. When he gets there, let me talk to him.”

Alyssa: “OK, Mom.”

I can hear the conversation:

Police Officer: “Hi, how old are you?”

Alyssa: “Eight.”

Police Officer: “And how old are you?”

Alyssa: “They are five. My Mom is stuck in traffic and I kept slipping and didn’t get to the alarm. I just kept slipping.”

Police Officer: “Do you watch your brothers a lot.”

Alyssa: “No, just when…”

At this point I am trying to yell into the phone to get Alyssa’s attention but no avail. During this time I get a voice mail from Tim: Hey, it’s just me, I got a hold of Brinks and they called off the police.

I hang up and call back.

Police Officer: “Officer (inaudible), Lee’s Summit Police Department.”

Me: “Umm, hi, this is Mom.”

Police Officer: “Are they left home a lot?”

Me: “NO! I’m stuck in traffic and she has a key just for emergencies.”

Police Officer: “Do you have an ETA?”

Me: “I just got off the highway at View High. I should be there soon.”

Police Officer: “OK, I’m going to give the phone to your daughter. I’m not worried about them. I think they are OK. Are you guys OK? Are you going to be alright until your Mom gets home?”

I could here mumbled voices: “Yeah.”

Alyssa: “Mom?”

Me: “Hi, sweetie. I’ll be home in about five minutes.”

I arrive and they greet me at the door. I’m bombarded with questions and comments: “Mom, why were you in traffic? Did you know the police were here? Why were you in traffic?”

I gathered my purse and computer. Once inside, they had already found their snow boots and were ready to go outside. The trauma from being left alone and the police had worn off. They were ready for snow!!!!

My first day went alright. Nothing earth shattering. I was afraid getting up early would be a big problem for me. I actually woke up before the alarm went off. Good sign; however, we’ll see how long that lasts.

This is a small office. There’s my boss, the office manager, two other people (a guy and a girl) doing the same thing that I’ll be doing and, of course, myself. Five of us in total. My boss had a meeting, the other girl was sick, so that left the guy to take me to lunch. It was refreshing as he seems to have the same mentality as myself. I think both of us were able to open up a little bit more simply because it was just the two of us.

There are going to be some nice perks. If we are doing well, my boss will treat us to an afternoon out, bowling or whatever we decide. They expect you to work hard and it will be rewarded with hard play. I’m all about that. I’ve been in situations where I’ve worked hard and watched those I supported enjoy the recognition and fun times.

Most of the day was spent doing paperwork. The joys of a new job. I was able to schedule a lunch with a friend of mine on Friday. Hopefully I’ll be able to help her.

Well, I’m off for my second day…

This last weekend was my last weekend as an unemployed wretch a stay-at-home Mom. I spent the weekend nesting. Not in a I’m pregnant way, but in a I want things done while I have the time to get it done way. I cleaned house. I scrubbed toilets, cleaned windows, dusted and scrubbed the floors on my hands and knees. I did laundry – ALL the laundry. In addition to the kids having six loads of laundry, I washed towels and bedding. I gave myself a manicure and pedicure. I did a manicure and a pedicure for Alyssa. She wanted “fancy” nails. I painted them red with white strips to look like candy canes.

Tim spent Saturday putting up the Christmas lights outside. The kids have been begging him to put them up. I would prefer he didn’t simply because this is an ALL DAY project. He kept telling me that it wouldn’t take that long, but I knew better. Sure enough, the project consisted of doing something with the gutter, to hanging the lights, running extension cords for the lights and then replacing the bulbs that didn’t light. I don’t get that… Tim checked all the lights before he put them on the house. However, once they were up and plugged in, we had several that didn’t light. What the hell happened? Not only did it take ALL DAY Saturday, he spent a few hours on Sunday finishing up.

Anyway, it was cutting into my nesting time! My last precious moments that I will ever get to have to myself again. OK, maybe I’m being a little dramatic. Just a little!

Me: “So, do you care if I take Alex and go do some running around?”

Tim: “WHAT? Where are you going?”

Me: “Well, I’d like to see if I can find those boots in person and try them on. And I’d like to browse through Crate & Barrel.” I’m in the market for new snow boots. I need them to be WARM and waterproof. I’ll use them to take the kids sledding and be able to run around in the snow. I have three options. My first pick were the North Face McMurdo Boot. However, I got to thinking they might look a little to manly. I then found the North Face Nuptse Faux Fir Boot. Cute, very cute. However, they aren’t big and clunky. I wonder if they’ll keep my feet warm enough and I don’t think they will be very waterproof since they aren’t leather. Then I found the Sorel Caribou. Cute, but they are owned by Columbia. The reason I’m shopping for new boots is because my Columbia’s are falling apart and I don’t think they should be so… PLEASE leave me a comment with your suggestions. I just can’t decide!

Tim: “So.”

Me: “Well, I would have done it on Friday, but I knew you be working on the lights all day Saturday and wouldn’t be able to help clean house. THAT’S why I started cleaning house on Friday.”

Tim: “OK, you can go.” Guilt is grand!!

Andy came in the house before Alex so I took him instead. I didn’t find any of the boots to try on, damn it! We spent a couple hours just looking around. It was nice! Thanks, Dear, for understanding and letting me go.

Change is coming… after many failed attempts to secure my financial future by winning the lottery, I will be returning to work on Monday. I will be a recruiter for Stephen James. So, if you are in the accounting field looking for a job OR need to employ someone in the accounting field, CONTACT ME!!

I will now be required to wake early, shower, apply make-up and make nice-nice with co-workers. I apologize in advance for any crankiness, shortness and lack of blogging. I will do my best to keep up with it all.

And now for the part of my life that stays stagnant… my good friend, Dorsey, bag tagged me. You must share the contents of your purse. So here it is…

• My bag – its a Beijo bag. My neighbor sells them so if you want one, I can hook you up. You can view them online here. They come in many different colors to suit your tastes. Mine is chocolate brown.
•  My wallet – its Beijo too! Chocolate brown to match the purse.
• Coin purse – you guessed it, Beijo. It’s orange. Love that color, but not enough to wear it on the outside of my purse. I prefer neutral colors that go with everything.
• Checkbook – I rarely use checks anymore. I needed it one day, threw it in the purse and it’s been there ever since.
• Lottery tickets – I told you my plan… I guess I should check them. I could be a millionaire RIGHT NOW!
• Dental floss – there is nothing worse than having food caught in your teeth and you can’t get it out.
• Ibuprofen – gotta have medicine for aches and pains!
• Business cards – I’m a Stampin’ Up! demonstrator and these are my cards for that. However, I typically give them out to friends as it has all my personal contact information on them.
• My phone – my connection to the world. It has my calendar, contacts, everything I need right at my fingertips. I will be changing it for the Blackberry^® Stormä as soon as I start getting a paycheck. Love that touch screen!
• Lip gloss – a must for every woman.
• Gum and mint – for fresh breath. Or hummers?!!
• Pictures of my babies – my pride and joy. Plus, it came with the purse.
• Hand lotion – I can’t stand it when it feels like my skin is peeling off!
• Paper and pen – to jot down ideas for posts. Lord knows I need all the help I can get. And I have to write it down before it just falls out of my head.

Now, I’m supposed to tag others or something like that. If you’re up to it, do it. If not, we’ll just assume you are hiding some good shit in there!!

Please leave a comment letting me know you are participating. I’d love to see what you got!

Help me become a Top Momma. Click on me! I made it to the front page!!!

I used to be afraid of the elderly. I must have thought that all of them were the Grim Reaper because I avoided them like the plague. Hell, I thought they were the plague.

I was very close to my Grandma. I miss her terribly. To add insult to injury, my biggest regret is as she aged and I moved on with my life, I didn’t keep in contact with her. I will never forget the day I called her to tell her I was pregnant and she didn’t recognize my voice. I was crushed. I was her favorite grandchild and I had abandoned her.

I don’t consider myself to be old; however, my body thinks differently.

Between the Florida trip and the five and half hour drive back to Nebraska for Thanksgiving, my back still aches six days later. I’m just not used to sitting that long. While in Nebraska, I spent Thursday and Friday plugged into the wall – literally! My Dad was kind enough to lend me his heating pad. It was really cool because it has Velcro and you can strap it around your back. I was like a leashed dog! I would only walk as far as the cord would allow. But I didn’t care, my treat was the soothing comfort of warmth on my throbbing pain.

Last Friday, while in Nebraska, we made our annual trip to Nick’s Gyros. It’s a local restaurant that is a favorite among the college students. It’s a perfect meal after consuming lots of alcohol. The grease helps to absorb the excess beverage. This was a change from my normal routine and it threw my stomach for a loop. I’ve gone back and forth battling constipation and diarrhea. I ate this in college to keep from getting sick now it makes me sick. What the hell?

And then there’s the matter of… do I dare say it… umm… leakage. I finally sucked it up and made an appointment with an urologist. Not only will I be having “sling” surgery next year, I’m also taking medication to help control urgency. I think I’ve trained my bladder to go often to help control the leakage. You can’t help but notice other patients in the waiting room. They are all old men with their walkers! Damn, I must be getting old, look at the company I’m keeping.

Yesterday I had my first mammogram. I can’t be old enough to have one of them, can I?

I guess I am. I spent yesterday re-writing my resume to remove some of the “older” items to de-emphasize my age.

When did this happen? How did this happen? It can’t be!

I come to realize that age isn’t a number, it is how you feel. My Grandma was young at heart, which is probably why I had such a connection with her. Yet, I was so quick to judge when she aged. I’m sorry Grandma. I love you and miss you so much. I wish I could have one more day with you. Please know that you will always be with me.

When I make purchases, I tend to spend a little more money to get a quality product that will last a long time. I do this with shoes, appliances, purses and lunch pails. This past summer I ordered new lunch pails from Land’s End for all the kids. They were pricey but I knew they will last a long time and I would bet other kids wouldn’t have them so…

I let them pick the color they wanted. Alyssa’s new favorite color is sky blue so she picked a lighter color blue. Alex’s favorite color is red. He picked red. Andy’s favorite color is green. I don’t know why he picked orange but they were all happy with their new lunch pails. That’s what matters.

Tim thought I was crazy for spending the money on them that I did. Now I see why. Alex came home without his on Monday. Yesterday I must have told him a dozen times to look for his lunch pail. I just knew he’d come home with it. WRONG!!!!

The first thing he said to me when he got off the bus was, “Mom, I didn’t find my lunch box.”

Me: “Where did you look for it?”

Alex: “The cafeteria where we keep all our stuff.”

CRAP! What the hell did he do with it?

Being very focused (or anal as my husband would say), I am determined to get that damn thing back.

This morning I tell Alex, “Hey, buddy, today you need to go to lost and found.”

Alex with his big beautiful blue eyes half scared to death and whimpering voice, “I don’t want to be lost.”

I tried to contain my laughter but it just slipped out, “NOT YOU, your lunch pail. You need to go to lost and found to see if your lunch box is there.”

Alex, “Oh, what’s lost and found?”

He was relieved to know he wouldn’t be the lost one! Wish me luck in the safe return of the missing lunch pail.

We made our usual trek to Nebraska for Thanksgiving. We generally spend Thanksgiving in Nebraska so we can be home for Christmas. This works well because my parents alternate holidays. This year Thanksgiving was with Dad’s side of the family. They’ll spend Christmas with Mom’s side. Then next year, Thanksgiving will be with Mom’s side and Christmas will be with Dad’s side. We then get to spend time with each side of the family as well.

As we grow and have our own families, it is harder to get everyone together. All my cousins had made other plans. My grandma, aunt and uncle were sick. That left my nephews and niece, an aunt and uncle and my brother in attendance. I was surprised my brother made it. His wife and kids went to her side of the family. When Mom told me he was coming, I asked if he knew I was coming.

The last time we were together it ended with lots of yelling. He got really upset because he thought I said something, which I didn’t. Though it’s not out of the realm that I would say something derogatory but this time I really didn’t!! I tried to talk to him, but he just kept yelling.

So why would he come to Thanksgiving knowing that I’m going to be there AND his family isn’t? You got me!

I was in the other room when he arrived. Here we go! Wait, I hear civil conversation with Tim and my brother. OK, what gives?! Oh yeah, he’s mad at me not my husband. I enter the room and exchange a friendly hello with him. Oh my God, he was friendly back. What the hell?!

Well don’t get to excited too fast. The meal was spent with Mom, Dad, aunt, uncle and my family at one table, my brother, nephews and niece at another table. Family togetherness at its finest. At least we were all in the same room and there wasn’t yelling. Maybe next year we’ll all sit at the same table. In two years, superficial conversation. We can dream, can’t we…

The highlight of my kids’ trip… Grandma and Grandpa have a pool. Yeah, it’s really a hot tub, but that didn’t stop my kids from wanting to do cannon balls and flips. Oh what fun!!