I am Michelle D. Carter

When I was growing up, my Mom cooked one meal; which was what we ate. If I didn’t like it, too bad, so sad. Somehow, I’ve been come a short-order cook for my kids. It’s frustrating because I’ll work on a meal only to have them complain they don’t like it.

Yesterday, the boys got home from school. After showing me their wonderful artwork, I asked, “Do you want leftover chicken or hot dogs for lunch?”

Andy: “Hot dog.”

Alex: “Chicken.”

Me: “Alex, are you sure you want chicken?”

Alex: “Yeah.”

I know better, he hardly ate it for dinner the night before, why would he want it now, so I throw an extra hot dog in the water.

Me: “Alright guys, lunch is ready.”

Andy: “I want chicken.”

Me: “You want this?”

Andy: “NO, I said sandwich.”

Alex: “I said I wanted a sandwich.”

Me: “You did not! You know what guys? I’m going to sit down and eat, when you get hungry, your hot dogs will be here.”

Andy: “There’s no bun.”

Me: “We don’t have any buns, but we can use bread.”

Andy: “I want butter on it too.”

Me: “You really want butter on your bread.”

Andy: “Yes.”

Alex: “I want just like Andy.”

We sat down and ate our lunch. Alex finished his hot dog and said, “I want another one.”

All that and they ate what I had fixed… now, if I could only get my daughter to do that. The problem with her; however, is that she’ll get up and fix her own sandwich. Oh well, as long as I don’t have to fix it…

While wrestling with Alex this morning he says, “Mom, did you eat a mint? That’s disgusting.”

“No, Alex, it would be disgusting if I hadn’t brushed my teeth.”

I really need to spend some time with this kid. First he’s excited about picking up dog poop and now this. I can only imagine what’s next…

My plan for employment, for now anyway, is to take the commission only position. I am going to continue to look for a sales position with a base. I’m also going to work in the mornings while the boys are in school and evenings when Tim is home with the kids. Therefore eliminating any daycare expense. Who knows, this may become very profitable. We’ll just see…

I am going to be selling primarily diabetic shoes. The idea behind them is to help eliminate wounds that could lead to amputation. I will also sell diabetic testing supplies, a seat assist, back brace and an erectile dysfunction pump. I’ll start with the good contacts I have and move forward.

Thanks for the kind words from yesterday. Some times you just need to vent. I definitely needed to release some tension.

Wish me luck and I’ll keep you posted.

I am extremely frustrated! I’m sick of not being able to find a job in sales. I’ve been looking for eight months and nothing has prevailed. Let me rephrase, a job with a base salary. I had an interview with a company a couple months after I was laid-off. It was sales in the accounting field. I wasn’t interested at the time. Last week I had a phone interview with the HR representative with the same company. I’m hoping the manager doesn’t remember me and I can get in front of them again. NOW, I want that job. I’m realizing I’m going to be more successful in the field where my education lies. I’m frustrated because I wish I would have known then what I know now.

I’m fed up with the economy. We are in a recession; there is no doubt about it. Ask me and the millions of other Americans who are out of work and can’t find jobs. I spoke with a friend last night that has a friend who was working in pharmaceutical sales, moved to rural Missouri with his company only to have them let him go. He is now painting houses with his brother because he can’t find another job. Companies are trying to stay afloat and are letting more and more people go and are expecting more and more out of the remaining employees without additional compensation.

I’m mad because I can’t let go of the past and move forward. I keep re-living the events that lead to my departure. While my former boss was an evil vindictive bitch, some of what she said was true. She would blow things out of proportion and use it against me. OK, can you tell that I can’t let go of this????

I’m disappointed in myself and the role model I’m creating for my kids. I get so upset at times that I just yell and slam doors. Then I watch my kids repeat the same actions when they get upset. After seeing my children do it, you would think I would learn and stop, but I just get frustrated and do it again.

I keep telling myself it would be different if… but it never seems to change. Am I doomed to this fate? Damn, why can’t I just win the lottery?

Alex, you are going to be my most challenging child. However, I also think you are the one who will be very successful. You will be the one causing problems in class because you are bored.

You’ve already shown how generous you can be. In fact, this weekend I was going to make a Blockbuster run. You wanted to go with me because you know they have gumball machines. You took three quarters out of your purse so you could get gum for you and your siblings. You are always thinking of everyone else.

You also appear to rival your sister (even though she is three years your elder) when it comes to studies. Things just seem to come easy to you, just like your Dad. You came home from school last Thursday stating you had homework. There were a few pages you didn’t get colored in school. You immediately got out the colors, went to the table and began your “homework.”

You are also the toughest player to beat on Mario Brothers DS. You’re ruthless and will knock the stars out of anyone to win.

You also know how to be just plain ornery. You wanted me to push you on the swings last night. Then your potty mouth started. “Mom, you have fart breath. You have diarrhea in your underwear. You are a poop head.”

I made the mistake of laughing which only made the situation worse. Andy then copied you. The two of you continued to giggle, therefore, making me chuckle more.

We need to begin to transform some of the orneriness into more positive things. Although, don’t loose your ability to make people laugh. I love you!!

Last night, Zoey needed a bath. Since it was trash night, I wanted the poop picked up too. So I gave Tim the option. He choose bath leaving me with poop duty. Alex had helped with Zoey’s last bath so he got the joy of helping me in the backyard.

I also had committed to making a cake. In my effort to multi-task, I planned to make the cake first. It could be in the oven while I looked for land mines. Alex was not happy with this arrangement. “How much longer, Mom?” he kept asking. I have never seen anyone so excited to go out and pick up poop! By then, Tim was done with Zoey’s bath. In trying to elude the blissful task of picking up poop AND to get Alex off my back, I sent Alex off to try to talk Tim into doing it. No luck, damn.

Finally time to head out, Alex said in a very cheerful voice, “Time to pick up poop.” Something has to be wrong with this kid.

Lately I’ve been wearing latex gloves to pick up the poop. Alex wanted to use the “tweezers” a.k.a. pooper scooper this time. He was holding the bag for me like such a good boy. In the transfer I accidentally got a smidge poop on his thumb.

“MOM, YOU GOT POOP ON ME. YUCK!”

“Alex, it’s OK. Go inside and wash your hands with soap.”

Off he went. I didn’t think I’d see him again but he came back out with latex gloves on both his hands. After getting some poop on his gloves, he thought it would be fun to get it on me. I told him no.

“But you got some on me.”

“Alex, it was an accident.”

We completed our job without another incident. However, this morning Andy was still talking about how I got poop on Alex. I can only imagine the stories they are telling at school…

Did you ever see that movie Pay It Forward? In essence, as a result of a school assignment, a boy comes up with the idea of repaying good deeds not with a payback, but with new good deeds to three new people. What appears to initially be a failure is indeed a success. It’s about unselfishness and caring for people. Also, by doing good deeds, good will come to you.

This is my son, Alex. Anytime we go anywhere, Alex needs to bring his purse. Yes, my five-year-old son carries a purse. Mom and sister have a purse, why shouldn’t he have one too?! When it comes time to spend his money, he is always sharing with his brother and sister.

The other day we were at the mall with a Rain Forest Café. As with most Rain Forest Cafés, they have an alligator in front. The kids love to throw money in the water with the alligator. I always give them some change. This time, Alex had his purse and he gave Alyssa and Andy some money to throw. We then walk down to the play place and I let the kids run a little to get rid of some energy. It wasn’t long and Alex came up to me showing me some money he had found.

The day before school started I took them to Tunnel Voyage. In addition to crawling through tunnels, you can also play games and win tickets. Alex LOVES to play the games and win tickets! He always brings his purse and again, shares with Alyssa and Andy. After playing for a little while, he comes back saying he found extra tickets.

I admire him for his generosity. He does not expect anything in return, it just happens for him. I need to be more like him. While growing up, we didn’t have much money. If I lent my bike to a friend and something happened, we didn’t have the money to replace it. No offense, Mom, it’s just how it was. So I tend to be selfish. If I give, then I won’t have.

I often tell Alex that I love his thoughtfulness and I hope it’s a trait he never looses. I need to learn from him. The world would be a lot stronger is everyone was more like Alex.

Alyssa before school: I don’t really like school that much.

Alyssa after school: This was the best day of school ever!

Alex before school: Didn’t want to be away from Mom. Cried.

Alex after school: Mom, my favorite part was EVERYTHING. I especially liked getting the sack with the snack and pencil in it.

Andy before school: It’s going to be fun!

Andy after school: I didn’t like anything. It was too long!

We’ll see how the rest of the year goes…

Today is the first day of school! Yippy!!

Alyssa asks, “Mom, why are you so happy?”

Tim chimes in, “School’s fun!” I think he was afraid I’d say something like I’d finally get some quiet time with them being gone, just because that’s the truth.

However, my response, “Yes, Alyssa, school IS fun. Did you know when I was your age, I hated to miss school? I didn’t like it when I had to stay home when I was sick.” She looked at me like I was crazy.

After getting ready, we did the ceremonial pictures on the front porch. It’s the tradition we started with Alyssa on her first day of Kindergarten and have continued ever since. They were more excited to go play with the girls next door.

 

Finally it was time for the bus and they all waited together at the bus stop. It was so cute!! I can’t believe my little men are Kindergarteners!!

Tim and I met the bus at the school and watched them get off the bus. Andy said, “We went fast.”

We walked them to their classrooms and took pictures. We took Andy first. He did great! I reminded him that he was coming home on the bus with Alex after class (this is the last year for half day Kindergarten). He asked if his teacher would walk him to the door. “Yes, she’ll help you.” He was good to go.

I thought Tim had already taken Alex. However, they were still waiting in the hall. We walked in to get his picture with his teacher and the water works started. Luckily they were short lived. Thank goodness because watching him have a hard time was making it hard on me. Tim said he kept getting more and more quiet so he knew it was coming. It really surprised me how little he cried. This is the kid that yells for me if I go to the bathroom without telling him. Yesterday I went out back to water some shrubs, he comes out the back door with his hands on his hips and stern voice, “What’s this, you didn’t tell us you were going out.”

Alyssa had been a great big sister and helped the boys find their room too, so we walked her to her classroom and then went to the library for the Yahoo Boo Hoo Kindergarten Party. The guidance counselor had checked in on our little ones and reported back that everyone was doing just fine.

I am an empty nester. Well… until noon anyway.

Tim left for the lake Friday night. I decided I’d take the kids to McDonald’s. As always, the kids ran to the to the play area while I ordered dinner. It was a happenin’ place with lots of kids running around. I let them play a little before sitting down to eat. Pretty soon Alex comes up to the table and says there is someone pulling their hair. He runs off so I didn’t think too much about it. Moments later, both boys come running to report more hair pulling.

I decide at that point it’s time to sit down and eat and let things cool off a bit. Some lady is following Alyssa and is asking her if she is being nice. I immediately go into defensive mode and respond with, “I was told that they were doing the pulling.”

She walks off and says, “OK, but you’re a lot older than them by about four years.”

I respond with, “And that makes it alright?” But she was out of ear shot by then.

I turn to Alyssa and say, “Tell me everything that is going on. Don’t lie to me. Tell me the truth and we’ll work through it.” I’m trying to instill honesty. I may not like what they did but if they are honest with me, we’ll get through it. Alyssa has been honest with me in the past and has confessed to things that she knew was wrong but did them anyway. I tell her I am proud of her for telling me the truth and then we deal with the situation. She knows the punishment isn’t going to be as sever due to her honesty.

She begins, “When I got to the top of the slide, those girls said I was too old to be in here. I said no it’s over 12 and I’m only 8. Then they pulled my hair. I told them to stop but when they didn’t I pulled theirs back.”

“OK, so they pulled first, not you, is that correct?”

“Yes.”

“OK, even though they pulled your hair first, it is still not OK for you to pull their hair. If you tell them to stop and they don’t, you need to come get me. OK?”

“OK, Mom.”

“You guys are going to sit here and eat and you are not going back in to play until they leave.”

They finished eating, by then the “other” people had left. I said it was now safe for them to go play.

Pretty soon Alyssa comes to tell me that there is a boy jumping on her. Good gravy, what the heck is going on? “Mom, you told me to come get you next time and I am.” By the way, it was a full moon.

“That’s right.” I go in to see what’s going on.

Alex yells at the kid, “You were stepping on my sister!” Awe, they do love each other and will stick up for each other.

“Try to stay away from him. We’ll be leaving soon.”

As I begin to throw our trash away, in walks the “other” people from before. They came back. She begins to yell at me, “I want to show you this. Do you see the scratch on her face? This is not OK.”

I try to tell her that her kids started it. It still didn’t make it OK that my daughter had retaliated. However, if they hadn’t started it, it wouldn’t have happened.

She keeps yelling and doesn’t let me say a word. She screams at the guy cleaning up, “Where’s the manager?” He points to the front of the restaurant. She stomps off and screeches, “Take care of your fxxxing brat.” Yes folks, she dropped an “F” bomb that could be heard for blocks.

We were already leaving but I tell the kids again to get their stuff it is time to go.

She is now at the front of the restaurant yelling at the staff, “That bitch right there.” Real nice from an upstanding citizen trying to set an example for her daughter!!

Obviously McDonald’s can’t do anything about it and she leaves in a huff.

I spoke with the Manager and apologized for the incident. He couldn’t believe the scene she caused. The whole restaurant knew about it.

As we were exiting the restaurant, I told the kids to hurry across the parking lot. It wouldn’t surprise me if she was waiting to run us over.

“Mom, did she say take care of your fxxxing brat?” Alyssa asks.

“Yes, dear, she did.” We talked about it again. The scratch was caused by Alyssa pushing the girl back as she was pulling her hair and she hit the slide. It is human nature to defend yourself. I understand what my daughter did.

Life is a learning experience and Alyssa has learned a valuable lesson. I am proud of her.

By the way, I could have taken her!